Everybody Hurts

Between the sheets I spend my days,
And please myself with thoughts forbidden.
Hours pass enjoying my private play,
Feeling sure my lazy indulgence remains quite hidden.

And so it was that I'd stretched out,
Sometime past half past noon,
Flaunting all that body I rarely flout,
Only the radio and my breathing to fill the room.

"When the day is long and the night,
The night is yours alone,"
The lyrics had set the mood just right,
And in my ease my length had turned to stone.

But as I slipped into that repose,
And was about to enjoy a little slice of death,
Something happened which curled my toes,
And snatched away my breath.

My ears had been pricked,
By the turning of the lock,
Which now had clicked,
Preparing me if not them for quite a shock.

I cocked my head and wondered what to do,
I hoped my brain would come and help me out,
But only REM, the real estate agent and the Robertsons came through,
"If you feel like you're alone,
No, no, no you are not alone."

Many features of this house are quite striking,
Janet the agent began her pitch,
Unfortunately one not quite to the Robertson's liking,
Was the house guest without a stitch.

I had no idea what to do,
Janet the agent's commission was surely gone,
So I just listened to the REM still coming through,
Telling me, "Hold on, hold on, hold on..."